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Half stable, half fragile
Oct. 9th, 2007 08:40 pmI feel half certain and safe. Part of me is glad that i am being productive in schooling, volunteering, somewhat martial arts and my own current part time employment to fix financial concerns. Good foundation, good family behind me and good prospects for the future.
The other half of me is scared shitless. I have a good bit on my plate and fear i will drop said plate onto the unrelenting floor of life. I have to keep working on suppressing my inner chicken-little with regards to my relationship. Suppose it is merely a stage in life, but i am not one who thrives off flux/change/chaos.
I realize this stage in my life is normal and necessary. Hell, my academic interests focus on adaptability and resilience of systems. I simply don't want this particular system to crash on me. Down side of being a pattern essence i suppose.
The other half of me is scared shitless. I have a good bit on my plate and fear i will drop said plate onto the unrelenting floor of life. I have to keep working on suppressing my inner chicken-little with regards to my relationship. Suppose it is merely a stage in life, but i am not one who thrives off flux/change/chaos.
I realize this stage in my life is normal and necessary. Hell, my academic interests focus on adaptability and resilience of systems. I simply don't want this particular system to crash on me. Down side of being a pattern essence i suppose.
